Opening the Door
by gRIITO
Summary: Erwin x Titan!Reader.
1. The Door

A cool breeze came in through your open window, carrying with it the smell of summer. You could hear the chirping of birds in the distance as you sat at the table and gazed into the deepness of the forest, an open book sprawled out in front of you.

It was mid-afternoon and the sun was bright, begging you to let it warm your skin with it's soft touch. Smiling to yourself, you stood up as you decided that a cup of your favourite tea would go so fittingly with this perfectly quite afternoon.

The gentle wind that came in intervals was inviting you into a journey as you watched the way the branches and leaves shook under it's strength. Maybe when the sun went down you would be able to step outside for a short while, escaping your confines for only a moment.

As you made your way back towards the table you felt a more powerful gust of wind come through the still open window, blowing the pages of your open book rapidly. You rushed yourself over, placing the cup of tea down as you attempted to regain your lost page quickly.

Sitting down as you concentrated, a flash of colour passed the corner of your eyes. You shot your head up and were met with another pair, small and black, staring curiously back into yours from the ledge of the window.

"Hello there. And where did you come from?" You smiled as you spoke to the small creature as it flapped it's bright coloured wings, inching forward with little hops. You placed your hand on the table in hopes of being able to hold the small bird for a while before it would decide to leave you alone once more.

A few louder chirps could be heard and before you knew it, your new friend had taken off. Had he been called back by his friends, perhaps? You couldn't help but giggle a little to yourself at the thought of their possible camaraderie.

The world was surprisingly simple, wasn't it? Things like friendship and family existed throughout nature time and time again.

It was only you that was the exception to that phenomenon, wasn't it? You were the strange one. Something that could not be understood.

Where other species found comfort in being together, you were here alone. A small house for one in the middle of the forest, as far away from anybody's attention as possible. There were no prying eyes or whispers here – just the solitude of the forest and your own thoughts.

Not once had anyone came to knock on the small, wooden door of the house you called home.

You took a sip of the tea you had been taught to make as a child, from a woman you had once referred to as your "mother". Whether that was the actual case or not, you were now unsure.

The warm liquid felt like silk as it traveled gently down your throat. A sharp contrast to the rough thoughts that plagued your mind once more on this average day.

"_That kid – it's a damn monster!"_

Regardless of the memories you held, the reality was that you now lived out your days in solitude. Sometimes you felt angry, enraged by the actions taken by the others around you. Sometimes you felt lonely, sadden by the look of fear on their faces.

And yet you had been the one to confine yourself here – this punishment was your own.

Because you understood.

You were the strange one. It was an issue too complicated for others to understand – hell, you didn't understand it yourself. But you knew that you were the one who needed to leave.

You remembered clearly the face of the man you had referred to as your "father". The kindness he had shown you and the warmth of his strong arms.

The pain in his eyes and the trembling of his hands.

"_How could you bring that thing into our home? It's going to kill us!"_

You were unsure of what it was that you were supposed to feel as you looked into your past.

You brought the cup once more to your lips and let the scent of your favourite concoction fill your nose and clear your head. You took another sip, focusing on the relaxing sensation that came with it.

You had already made your decision and it was much too late to turn back now. Not that you were able anymore, either.

For the fact that you were, undoubtedly, a monster was something you knew all too well yourself.

You had already resigned yourself to your self-imposed confinement as well as the loneliness that came with it. You now lived out your days here, gazing longingly out of the single window as you read the same few books you kept over and over again.

_Hey Dad... Is it okay if I still want to see the world? Will you forgive me for holding onto these impossible dreams?_

You ventured outside rarely, only free from your solitary for the moments that it took for you to stock up on water from the small river and gather what food you were able. They were simple, small moments of freedom and yet you treasured them all the same.

You stood up, pulling the window to a near close and tugging the curtains shut. Strange, wasn't it? That the frame you spent hours staring so longingly out of was such a clear reminder of the freedom you would never have. It was your biggest happiness and your worst nightmare in one.

With it's view blocked, however, you were able to lose yourself inside of your own fantasies for a while. You were able to pretend that your lone house was actually one of many in a simple neighborhood. You could pack a lunch for the picnic you and your childhood friend from the house over were planning or you could make dinner to surprise your father for when he came home from a long day of work in the evening.

As you sat around the dinner table you would speak of his troubles at work and the gossip from the old lady down the street. You would talk about your dreams of travelling the world; it's vast space yours to conquer. About how the future was still bright and so full of possibilities just lying in wait.

"_Your future is waiting for you, _. You just have to be sure to open the door when it finally knocks."_

"Maybe... knock..."

A small whisper cut into your thoughts suddenly causing you to snap your head up in alarm. Was that your imagination?

"Don't... signal..."

Had someone just been _speaking_?

You stood up in half panic, bumping your leg against the table as you rushed from your seat towards the door. You placed a ear against the wood, your palms already covered in a light layer of sweat.

You felt every thump of a fist against the wood as it resounded loudly through your ear.

Your eyes were wide as you backed away, frantically running your vision across all areas of the room.

_What am I supposed to do?_

With no other options you crawled, terrified, underneath the table you had just been sitting so peacefully at mere seconds ago. You had no time to clean the half-empty cup of tea as it had spilled over the table and created a small puddle at the base of furniture.

The deadly silence was interrupted by much-too-loud drip of the liquid as it fell past your vision. Curled up in the corner and frightened, your mind was racing.

_It's too loud. They'll hear it. If I just put my hand out and catch the drops it'll be okay, right?_

The sound of the a small drop of liquid that fell roughly onto the tip of your finger was drowned out by the loud creak of hinges as the door was opened.

Startled, you quickly pulled your hands back and over top of your mouth.

_I have to calm down or they'll hear me. Breathe normal, me! Please!_

From your position you could only just see the two sets of large boots as they made their way inside, pausing only for a moment. You could feel the way your body trembled and hoped that, for the sake of your life, the feet that stopped in front of you to inspect the spilled liquid would believe that you had escaped out of the window instead of cowering like a child down below.

The seconds that those legs stood in front of you were menacing by every definition of the word. Your breath caught and you didn't have the ability to close your widened eyes as you watched the man lean forward. His knees bend. His waist come into view followed quickly by his chest and arms.

A head of neat, blonde hair as he inspected the puddle before you.

You could feel the almost long forgotten sting of tears behind your eyes as you noticed his body tense and his gaze lift. A pair of deep, light blue eyes met your wide and trembling ones.

As he stared directly at you, you could feel the warmth of tears as they began to fall down your cheeks.

_They found me. They're going to kill me. I'm so sorry, dad._

You vision blurred as you heard the sound of more footsteps making their way towards you. You shook your head, finally releasing your cries into an audible form as you wept into your knees.

"Hey, there's no need to be scared." A voice spoke from directly in front of you and you looked up into those same blue eyes once more. Through your watery vision you could see the makings of a small smile on his face as he outstretched an arm towards you. "Nobody will hurt you. Why not come on out from there?"

You shook your head once more, pushing yourself further against the hard wood of the walls.

"My name is Erwin Smith from the Survey Corps. You can trust me, _."

"H-how do you know my name?" Your voice shook as you spoke in surprise.

"Your father told me. Why don't we talk for a little while?" You blinked your eyes and saw clearly now the inviting smile he wore. It was the same as when the sun called you outside with it's warmth.

"My f-father? Then... you know what I am?" Your hand shook even more violently than your voice as you lifted it, stopping to question the man before you would accept his still outstretched palm.

"I do, _. I promise that no one will hurt you this time, either." With another flash a smile, the hand you held above his was taken into his grasp. "I'll protect you, _."

You nodded as he tugged on your hand, helping you stand as you crawled out of your hiding spot. You wiped your eyes once more on your sleeve, feeling a little less frightened at the mention of your father.

When you opened your eyes, however, you noticed the group of men that had entered your small home all staring directly at you and the fear quickly returned. You froze with your feet rooted in spot.

_What do you want from me? Stop glaring at me like that!_

Perhaps the man with the blue eyes took notice of your fear and he smiled down at you, giving a squeeze of your hand to remind you of his words. You hesitated, taking another look around the room, but his smile never wavered. You gave a small nod and he led you around the table, pulling the single chair out for you to sit on.

"Are you scared, _?" He spoke again as you stared up at him. You nodded. "I understand. We all are, though. So wouldn't it be better to live without that fear?"

What was he talking about? Of course it would be better if you could live without fear. You nodded once more.

"In order to do that, _, we need your help. Will you hear me out?" His blue eyes bore into you and you broke away, glancing once more around the room as your eyes landed on the still open door that the men had entered from.

"_You just have to be sure to open the door when it finally knocks."_

Did it still count if you weren't the one to open it?

You turned back and met his eyes once more. The man in front of you gave off an aura of strength. When you looked into those eyes, it was as if you truly had nothing to be afraid of anymore.

They held hope and expectation. They held strength and capability. Knowledge and freedom.

Reflected in those light blue eyes were all of the things you were in such desperate need of.

"I-I understand. Tell me how I can help."

* * *

A new SnK fic! I should probably move on already but I just can't seem to stop. This time it's Erwin x Titan!Reader - although that's probably obvious by now.

I don't know how often I will update this, honestly, since I can't say it's a huge priority just yet. But I will say that it's going to be a little AU since there is no Eren or any 104th squad at all. And it will without a doubt have angst because Erwin brings out the feels in me ;.; Regardless, I hope you will enjoy reading this chapter and I will try to set up a schedule for new chapters as soon as I can w


	2. Trust

"Are you okay back there, _? I apologize for not preparing a more suitable transportation for you." The man named Erwin spoke over his shoulder as he handed you a small canteen of water.

"I-I'm okay. Thank you." You weren't quite accustomed to horse back anymore since it had been well over ten years or so that you had last seen one. You remembered that your father would sometimes let you come along on his trips and how much you had enjoyed the long rides back then.

"That's good. Just relax for a while and let me know if you start to feel uncomfortable at all. Make sure to hold on tightly, okay?" You nodded and he turned forward again, snapping the reigns he held to increase the horse's speed. The other men followed quickly behind, keeping pace and staying in relatively close distance from their trusted Commander.

Or at least, you assumed he was trusted. Why else would they be so accepting of someone like you riding with them? And without any sort of confines to top it off. You had expected to hear whispers and complaints but they had yet to come. Was the man before you so capable that everyone felt you posed no threat to him? Enough that even he had no fear even as you wrapped your arms around his waist, riding on his horse?

Or perhaps it was just the opposite? There was also the possibility that he had kept you beside him on purpose in case something went astray. It'd be easier to stop you if he was close by after all. Just as easily as you could kill him, he could do the same for you.

But... he said they needed your help so that wouldn't happen, right? You tried to reassure yourself but you couldn't deny the possibilities before you. If you had learned anything in all your years of life thus far, it was caution.

The fact that you were suddenly surrounded by a group of people after being alone for so many years wasn't helping with your nerves, either.

The only thing that was familiar was the looks you received from the surrounding soldiers. You would probably never forget that look no matter how long lived. Feeling that your throat was getting a little dry, you took a sip from the water Erwin had provided you.

"_I have to be frank, _. We're losing this war and you're our only option. Would you mind coming along with us back to a base outside this forest? We can have a more detailed discussion there."_

"_Go with you? B-but... I can't leave..."_

"_I understand your hesitation, _. But our situation is dire and we need you to help us. If you don't, we just might lose everything. No one will harm you."_

"M-Mr. Smith?" You spoke after a few minutes of silence. He glanced his eyes in your direction only briefly to acknowledge that he had heard you.

"Erwin is fine, _."

"Ah, right, sorry. Then, Mr. Erwin... Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course. You must have tons of them, huh?"

"I was just wondering... about my father. Is he well?" You tried to lean your head over to glimpse at the taller man in front of you but you couldn't manage to get a good view. Perhaps he noticed your movement, though, for after a moment he turned his head towards you briefly with a small smile.

"We can talk about that when we stop for the night, okay? It will take us some time to travel all the way back so we'll take a small break when the sun sets. Will that be acceptable?" His face showed kindness and yet something about his words was unsettling, making you feel displeased at the vague reply.

"_Father said they'd kill me if I leave..."_

"_I said I'd protect you, didn't I? You'll be safe with us."_

But if your father had been the one to tell these people of your location – of your existence – it would mean he was at least alive, right? It would be okay to trust these people for now, wouldn't it? It didn't seem as if they planned to harm you at least.

You tried to avoid the fearful looks and glares that the others gave you and instead focus on the warmth of one Erwin Smith. You couldn't say you trusted him completely just yet – and if you were being completely honest with yourself, you might have just been looking for an excuse to finally escape your confines – but you decided to believe in the things he had told you for now.

For the look he gave you was one without fear. And that was your biggest comfort in over ten years.

You decided that for the sake of caution you would let the issue slide for now. You probably didn't have too much choice in the matter, anyways.

You let out a small sigh, unconsciously resting your head on the broad back in front of you. Your thoughts were just too much of a mess to realize the overly comfortable action.

"_Your ability... have you ever used it while out here?"_

"_When I was younger, yes. There was one time – it must have been only two weeks since I found this house. I was out trying to find food because I was starving and there was an animal. It was bigger than me and I couldn't run fast enough and I kept falling everywhere. I was scared."_

"_And since then?"_

"_I used it a few times to get the fruit that was too high up. I've learned to climb since then, though."_

"_How long has it been?"_

"_I only used it during the first year. I realized quickly that the size of... my transformation... increased as I began to regain my health. I'm not sure if it was that or perhaps it's something that happens the more I use it? I couldn't tell you. I stopped because I was scared someone would see the smoke."_

"_So then, you can control it? I heard that you can turn at will through self-inflicted injury."_

"_At will is kind of... I guess that's mostly true. There are times in which I didn't chose it, though."_

"_So it's not predictable?"_

"_Ah, well, I wouldn't say that. I just meant that I didn't always make the decision consciously. For example, the first time in the woods – my injuries weren't self-inflicted. My body was already so weak from the hunger and I kept falling over. I cut my legs and arms up pretty badly on the branches and rocks. Mixed with the fact that I was running for my life... it just happened. I don't remember anything from during my transformation, though."_

"_So you aren't conscious while in your Titan form?"_

"_Only when I didn't choose it. When I chose to turn on my own I had control."_

"_Your father told me that the first time you transformed was when you were being bullied by some other children down the back field of your home. Was that conscious?"_

"_I... don't remember it. I remember waking up and seeing the blood. It was hot and I didn't know what where I was at first... and mother, she was screaming so loud. I remember the physical pain being gone but my head was spinning."_

"_Any other symptoms? What happened next?"_

"_I could see mother crying and so I went to her. I still didn't know what had happened so I didn't understand why she looked so scared as I approached her... She started screaming for father and I was so worried something had happened to her. I ran to her, I wanted to help her... And she pushed me away, screaming and crying. Then father came outside."_

"_?" Your name was called suddenly, causing your eyes to shoot open. Erwin's face was only a few inches from your own and you instinctively backed up, only to realize your path was blocked.

Shifting your gaze rapidly through your surroundings you noticed the sun had already set and you were no longer on horseback. You also too note the soldiers in the distance behind Erwin and the sound of running water – did they decide to give the horses a break? The wall behind you was, to your relief, just a tree and you noticed also that you had been wrapped in someone jacket. Looking down at the green fabric and then back up at Erwin it was clear who the large cape belonged to.

"D-did I fall asleep?" You spoke when Erwin continued to stare at you from an uncomfortably close distance. Shifting nervously under his gaze you pulled the fabric from your shoulders, trying to find any excuse to look away. What was he staring at, anyways? It was as if he was studying you. What was he looking for?

"You were probably tired from everything that's happened, huh?" Erwin spoke up after a moment, smiling at you kindly and raising himself to stand straight. He offered a hand to help you up, "I'm sure this is all probably overwhelming to you so suddenly."

"It's... unexpected, I guess." You couldn't help but wonder if it was even okay for you to be here – or to be interacting with others again like this. You were so unsure and your worries were so overpowering that it almost felt as if you were just being carried by the waves of wind rather than making conscious decisions.

"I can understand your nerves, _, but you'll be okay with us." Erwin bent down to your level once more when you didn't take his hand.

"O-Okay." You gave a nod. "Hey, Mr. Erwin?"

"You should drop the "Mr." already, _. You're making me feel like an old man. Although I suppose in your eyes I might be just that, huh?" Shifting around and letting out a sigh, Erwin moved himself to sit next you against the large tree rather than in front of you.

"No, I don't think you're old! But... father told me once that it's rude to be overly-friendly with people you don't know and-" What were you even talking about? Was conversation always this difficult?

"It's okay, _. What did you want to say?" Somehow that tone he spoke with made it seem as if he hadn't even noticed that he had just cut you off mid-sentence. You had definitely said something strange, right? It had been so long since you had been around others that you found putting your thoughts into words a little more nerve-racking then they probably should have been. After all, for the first time in over ten years your voice was being heard by more than just a bird on the window frame.

"Ah, uhm... I wanted to ask about my father again. Since you said we could talk when we took a break..." You were aware that you were being overly self-conscious but that was too be expected, right? Just yesterday this whole situation would have been impossible for even your wildest imagination.

"I apologize for that, _. It seemed more appropriate to have this conversation face to face instead since it's obvious you still care for your father." Despite his words Erwin was staring forward instead of looking into your eyes.

"Then... something happened to him?" You asked the question even though you were unsure if you wanted to hear the answer.

"Your father was killed, _. I'm sorry." He turned to face you before saying the words you had already half expected.

"Killed? B-by who? Why?" Only half expected.

"The situation is still under investigation so I can't tell you anything about who it was just yet, but he was travelling with a few of my men to get into hiding when they were ambushed. Your father was cornered and killed along with my men that were escorting him." His facial expression never changed as he spoke and yet you felt as if you could see a hint of something akin to pity in his eyes.

"Into hiding? Was he in danger?" Perhaps you should be a little bit more worried about your own situation... If someone had been after your father – the only reason you could think of would be that your existence had been revealed. Did other people already know about you as well?

"We had reason to believe that he would be targeted, yes." His tone made it hard for you to question him further.

"...I understand." You nodded, unsure of how to react. You cared for your father still, of course; the man had provided you with more than you could have ever asked. Or wanted.

"...You're taking the news better than expected, _." Erwin's tone seemed slightly surprised although his facial expression hadn't changed.

"I guess... because I haven't seen him in years. I've spent the last decade unsure of whether he was still alive or not, anyways... so I guess I was prepared?" You had always hoped you would be able see him once more before the end of your life, though. There were so many things you wanted to say; so many questions you needed to ask.

"I see. I'm sorry we couldn't protect him." Would you be able to find the answers if you cooperated with this man? Even though he was from a section of the military?

"It's okay. Thank you for letting me know." You held out the cloth you were still holding onto with a smile that probably looked as forced as it was. Not that you were particularly displeased with anything... but rather, you weren't sure what to feel.

"Your father told me that he sent you into hiding when your circumstances became known in the town. He said that you would definitely still be somewhere deep within this forest." Erwin continued the conversation, making no move to stop you or accept his cape back from you.

"Yeah... " You let your hands drop back to your lap, "Maybe it was because she fainted shortly after or something, but father was somehow able to convince mother that she was mistaken the first time. Although I suspect that she never really believed him, deep down. She always looked at me with fear in her eyes after that. The others in town, too – the parents of those children... I think they always blamed me. I overheard mother calling me names in the town one day so I think they all believed I must have been some sort of demon like she said. Then when it happened again years later, it was impossible to lie again. When father said he wouldn't just kill me like mother asked, she was angry. She said she was going to get someone in the military."

"And so your father saved you, correct?"

"He grabbed my hand and we ran. When we made it to the edge of the forest he told me that I would be safe if I could just make it to the house on the other side. He said that it was far but once I made it, I could live in peace." How many years had you spent regretting the way that scene had played out?

"You were only just a teenager, though. Weren't you scared?"

"I was terrified. I didn't know what was happening and I kept asking him over and over again what I did wrong. Why I was like this..." You never asked for this. This life, this ability... Wouldn't it have been better to just do as mother had asked? You hated the memory of the look you saw in your fathers eyes that day.

"What did he tell you?"

"He said that it wasn't my fault. He told me that I didn't deserve to be killed just for being this way. Hey, do you think he knew? I mean, before it happened..."

"...I couldn't say." Erwin hesitated for only a second before answering.

"Yeah... he was scared of me too, you know? I can't remember that transformation either but for some reason his face is so vivid in my head. I've never seen him look so terrified."

"But he still protected you?"

"Yes."

"Then, have you been in that house all these years?" You gave a nod and Erwin paused for a moment, "You didn't want to escape?"

"Well... of course there were days I wanted to run away. But where could I go? I was already alone so what would I be running away from? Only father knew where I was and for all I know, he could have been killed in my place. So I was safe there, at least."

"You weren't angry at him for not being there for you? Or for not explaining anything?"

"I was angry... and sad. But father – he still cared for me despite the fact that I was like this. He told me that I didn't deserve to die, even though I doubt even he would have been able to deny that I'm a monster. Even though he looked so scared... father never looked at me with hatred." You were thankful for all your father had done for you... and yet you couldn't help but resent him for it a little, too.

Because you had never wanted any of this.

"He was brave. He tried his best to help us, too. I'm sorry we weren't able to keep him safe." Erwin apologized once more with that same stoic look on his face.

You managed another smile, "It's not your fault."

"...Should we get going soon?" Erwin stood up once more, "I'm going to check on the others so stay here for a second until I come back for you. Ah, here's your water, too."

"Thank you." You nodded, taking the canteen and holding out the man's jacket once more.

"It's cold out so why don't you hold on to it," Erwin spoke as he turned around; his words came across as more of a statement rather than question.

"Uhm!" You called out without really thinking about it, "Thank you for taking the time to speak with me about it, E-Erwin."

"I'm glad you decided to trust me, _."

* * *

Chapter two is here! Is anyone else as excited as I am about this? I actually wasn't planning on writing too much just yet but I couldn't get the ideas out of my head. There were a few things that I was still a little worried about in this chapter but I've done what I can to the best of my ability so I hope it will be enough. I also hope you will enjoy reading this as much as I am writing it! And thank you for your time as usual :3


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